Letters to Eliza
by BlueBladeNova
Summary: After the Reynold's Pamplet, Alexander tries for two years to repair his marriage. When Eliza can't seem to forgive him, he decides to leave. The following are letters Alexander wrote to Eliza during their separation. Eliza's responses will be published as a separate story.


25 August 2016

Addressed to the best of wives and best of women, Elizabeth Schuyler-Hamilton,

My dearest. My beloved, beautiful wife. Please, my darling, although you don't want to hear my voice, at least read my final letter.  
I have done you a terrible wrong, one that you never deserved. Eliza, I had the affair three years ago. Two years ago, I confessed, and tried with all my might to win back your love, trust, the place in your bed and in your heart. Eliza, I never stopped loving you. But knowing that you no longer love me is more than I can bear.  
I deserve it. Your revulsion, your apathy towards me is deserved. You have every right to despise me. I ruined our marriage, our family, our dear Phillip's childhood. I'm so sorry.  
I'm leaving, Elizabeth. I can't tolerate the hostility, the uselessness I feel, the sleeping on the couch and in my office. I'm going to spend the nights in a hotel and have John and Hercules fetch my belongings and move them into a new home for myself in Wesley Hills.  
Once settled, I would like our lawyers to begin discussing our divorce. If you wish to communicate, please do so through my lawyer. It'll be easier for both of us.  
I'm sorry, my dear. I just can't live like this anymore. I'm so, so sorry. For everything.

Your undeserving husband,  
Alexander Hamilton 

10 October 2016  
Dear Ms. Schuyler,

My lawyer Mr. Burr has informed me that you have refused to sign the petition of divorce that has been sent to you. He also informed me that you wish to speak to me in person.  
Please do not prolong this divorce, for the sake of my sanity and for the sake of our children. All communication from this point must be done through Mr. Burr.

-Alexander Hamilton

22 October 2016  
Ms. Schuyler,

You're being unreasonable. I've afforded you every courtesy, fulfilled your every demand, including the rather ridiculous request that I return the reading glasses you bought for me last Christmas. Now I am without glasses and exasperated. I am convinced that you demanded my glasses purely to spite me or con me into begging for them back.  
In any case, Mr. Burr and I would like to sit down with you and your lawyer to discuss the matter of custody of the children. Please contact Mr. Burr with a preferred date, place, and time.

-Alexander Hamilton

28 November 2016  
Ms. Schuyler,

Please sign the papers so the divorce can progress. You've been avoiding it for two weeks.  
Concerning your inquiry about your hair curler: You put it in my bottom dresser drawer after burning the back of your neck. You declared that Angelica pulled off curls better than you did anyway and you would sell it later. You never did.

-Alexander Hamilton

15 December 2016  
Ms. Schuyler,

I received word of your illness yesterday and hope you are recovering. Your sister called to inform me that you had caught a fever and nearly went to the hospital. Please do not overexert yourself, your health comes first and foremost. Do call Mr. Burr with concerns.

-Alexander Hamilton

24 December, 2016  
Dear Eliza,

Merry Christmas. Send the children my love, remind them all that their father loves them very much. Hercules has volunteered to deliver their presents tomorrow morning.

-Alexander Hamilton

3 January, 2017  
Ms. Schuyler,

I deeply apologize for my behavior on Christmas. It was extremely inappropriate and I'm sorry. I trusted John to cut me off if I drank too much and he did not. Rest assured I shall not be drinking to such an extent any time soon and therefore will not bother you with excessive texts, voicemails, or my inebriated presence at your doorstep. I am sure there is more to apologize for, but, embarrassingly, I remember very little of the night.  
I apologize if this encounter gave you false hope for the future of our marriage. I did not intend on manipulating you and I hope you can forgive my conduct. I assure you that I do indeed still wish to pursue the divorce. Once again, I do apologize.

-Alexander Hamilton

7 January 2017  
Eliza,

Yes, I did love you. Yes, I love you still. You are my first thought when I wake and my last as I fall asleep. I miss the woman I married, but I fear she is lost to me forever.  
Eliza, please do not insult me. You neglected and belittled me for two years, and only now do you beg for my company, and only now do you want our marriage to succeed. Eliza, my heart has been broken for so long it physically pains to reflect upon when it was whole and full of love and the knowledge that it was loved in return.  
Please sign the papers.

-Alexander Hamilton

10 January 2017  
Eliza,

If you are sincere in your desire to reconcile, it would be my privilege, joy, and honor. I only wish to be happy again, and if I am lucky enough to be happy with you, than I shall make every attempt. When I read your letter, I began to sob with joy. I missed you so much, my darling. If you are willing, I am willing to give this marriage one last chance. I look forward to seeing you on Thursday at the counseling center.

-Alexander Hamilton


End file.
